Adam And The Ants, Prince Charming

By the time this album rolled out, Adam had his schtick (that being the Edwardian-dandy-tribal-entomologic-S&M shtick, for those not in the know) polished to the point of mastery. Problem being, too much polishing doth quickly wear a schtick thin. The immaculately coiffed fop staring out at you from the album cover with ambisexual desire is a distant (albeit enthusiastically whooped) cry from the young snot who had Jordan carve the word "FUCK" into his back whilst hanging around with the Bromley Contingent. Don't we all yearn for the days when the public display of expletives was enough to get you labelled a threat to civilisation? Bill Grundy, we hardly knew ye...*sigh*

Anyway, the point is that after you've written a song called "Antmusic" and another declaring that "ant people are warriors", how much further can you take the gimmick (at least Adam seemed, um, adamant about the fact that it WAS a gimmick, or "flavour" in his words at the time, so kudos for that) of being or liking or emulating (never figured out which it was supposed to be) ants? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I introduce Exhibit A: "Ant Rap".

In it's defence, "Ant Rap" is surprisingly not the worst eponymously-titled rap track that surfaced in the 80's in a pathetic attempt to cash in on a form of music not yet fully understood or digested by the white suburban masses. That distinction belongs to a song that by no mere coincidence is also the worst song EVER: "Wham! Rap", which manages to work in inconsistent messages about the British welfare system while it's giving right-minded whites as well as blacks good reason to pummel George Michael and the other guy. Wham! derived art-crime aside, "Ant Rap" (oh, right, the review) is still a nasty piece of work by anyone's standards. Whatever points it scores for mentioning curry are swiftly lost in it's tinny vocals, usage of French (no, I only wish I was kidding), inarticulate delivery, and praise of teetotalism. At least at 3:24 it's only half as long as "Wham! Rap".

As for the rest of the album, it's pretty much a garbage dump of the absurdly campy (this coming from someone who thinks that the first two Ants albums are pleasantly campy, keep in mind). The title track features all of Adam's high-pitched vocal twists with none of his ability for melody or walloping percussion. Also: if you're going to spend the last full minute of a song repeating the five-second chorus, it had better be a damn killer. "Prince Charming" ain't. Lead-off single "Stand And Deliver" is rollicking fun, though, and saves the album from being a total waste, especially if you're like me and the chorus evokes thoughts of John Cleese's lupin-minded Dennis Moore.

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