Abba, Greatest Hits

Let not the name fool you, wary traveller in the land of Abba. In no sane universe could this be considered Abba's greatest. "He Is Your Brother"? "People Need Love"? From what I've gathered it's one of those States-side releases collecting recent singles and highlights from the most recent couple of LPs, much like those strange US Beatles records meant to cash in on Beatlemania, or "Bona Drag". Except, y'know, with Abba songs instead of Morrissey songs. Speaking of songs, imagine hearing one of those fey male Swedes singing a song about the hard realities of life on the road and the one night-stands that accompany it. That's what "Another Town, Another Train" amounts to. The fact that his wife is singing backup on the song makes it all the more comical. Anyway, for the casual listener this album's a complete waste. The good tracks on this are all available on any of the dozens of posthumous Abba releases that can genuinely claim to offer "greatest" "hits". The Abba completist probably has all of these tracks on their original releases, so this record's just another checkbox to mark off for them. Wait. I just wrote the words "Abba completist". What sort of person becomes an Abba completist? What sort of person rubs their genitals with bacon for sexual release? I'm sure these people are everywhere...working in banks...

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